Thursday, May 20, 2010

Why Black People Don't Donate Hair

his is just a satirical blog about hair donations & black women.

Lately, I have been seeing many young girls, shaving their hair for Locks of Love and other hair donation organizations that help people with cancer and, well, don't have locks.
As beautiful I think this is, you don't see many black women shaving their heads for such causes. Here are the reasonings why I believe this:

1) As much as black girls hate their hair, we don't wanna be called "bald headed".
Every black person makes fun of other black people with short hair & calling them "bald headed". Even in that song "Chicken Heads" by Project Pat points it out. "Bald head scalawag. Ain't got no hair on her back." It's funny, until someone says it to you.

2) Do you know how long it takes for black hair to grow?!
While a Caucasian, Asian or Hispanic girl can cut her hair and it will grow back in a matter of months, black hair takes YEARS to grow a couple inches. Why you ask?! No one knows except genetics. We'd be bald headed (or considered bald headed) forever! And it would take until we're 80 to get 10inches of hair to donate!
Longest Hair
3) How many afro wigs to you see?
Really. There aren't that many.
60s 70s afro wig Pictures, Images and Photos

4) Unless the wig owner is black, I'm not sure if she would know what to do with it...
Black hair has a mind of its own. Sometimes it cooperates, other times, it rebels. You must learn how to tame it gradually or you might drive yourself crazy.

5) I'm not sure if the receiver will want to avoid water at all costs.
Notice how when it rains, you see less black people at the mall? Ever wonder why? Because one drop of water can cause severe damage, which leads to extensive curliness, which leads to hair you didn't intend to have. And the worse part is when only a section of hair gets wet & the rest is fine. You have to walk around until you get home with half jacked-up hair and the other half fine. It will look like this... with less of the pretty model look.

6) We don't want to be referred to the motherland.
For some reason, calling an African American an African is like someone just insulted your mother. And the stereotype of ALL tribal and African people being bald just points directly to you. As much as we are proud of our African roots (well, some of us), we don't want other people thinking we're "tribal people".

7) We'll never be able to attract a man of another race let alone a black man with no hair.
Really. How many interracial couples do you see with the girl bald? They would never accept the bald or afro! Black men either. Dreads, maybe. Fro, eh. Bald, eh eh.... It's already hard enough that we have that "every black girl is ghetto" stigma-cloud floating above us. Now, which Tyra would a man of another race want? Honestly...

8) Some jobs don't like afros.
It's "too unprofessional". So, you will have to live off the money you made selling your hair until you can find a more liberal job.
9) You might be mad at how much you spent on your hair products which now goes to waste until it grows back.
The average perm is $50+ at a salon. Hair products can range from $2-$100+(and you know we buy 1000 different things thinking its gonna make our hair have that "white girl flow"). And not to mention the expensive ceramic flat irons and blow dryers. Its alot!! But hey! While your hair is growing back, you can either save up money because you know how much you're gonna spend anyway, or try new products to see what will make it grow faster!
10) Our mothers would be furious.
I don't know about you guys, but my mom grew up in the south where the lighter your skin and the straighter your hair was, the better off you were, and the more attractive you are. Nappy hair, unacceptable. Afro, accepted in the 70s but not any more! Bald, unthinkable. She would never understand why someone would wanna sell their most prized possession!

Well, that 's all I have for now. And don't get me wrong! I am all for donating hair, afros, bald heads, dreads, curly hair, straight hair, pink, purple or orange hair. So go about with you daily hair lives, and no matter how much your naps don't want to straighten or that humidity ruined your press-n-curl, just remember you are always beautiful if you believe you are.... and use a little more grease next time. =]