Dear Mia,

You're almost three years old! I can't believe I'm about to have a kid who's going to be in kindergarten soon, and I'll be a college graduate in a year. It's cray. (I'll explain that slang to you later)

Well, your speech has very much improved. You went from not being able to string together more than 2 words at a time to forming pretty good sentences. Sure, other people may not understand you, but they don't matter. You are trying and that's all you should care about even though I can tell you get frustrated or confused when we can't make out what you're saying. You got that quality from me: defeat makes you feel like crap. You would rather not say anything than to say something incorrect. Yup. You definitely got that from me.

You love to sing. Annie is your favorite movie and you would watch and sing those songs all day, every day. You also like singing along to Amy Winehouse, Adele, and Shakira... Even though you can not speak Spanish to save you face... I'll teach you one day.

Your coloring has improved. You color inside the lines quite well! That's why I got you an easel to express yourself on paper/chalkboard for "Christmas".... a holiday you have no concept of even though people assume you are so excited for it. Sorry Mia, I don't feed into the commercialization of holidays so you won't be one of those kids with 9878 gifts waiting for them.

Let's talk about the future... We are going to move out of the South. We aren't meant to be here, especially with my liberal, democratic, big-city-lovin' self. Maybe San Francisco, NYC, Los Angeles, Washington DC, Chicago, London, Singapore? I'm not sure yet, but we have a little time to get our act together. I want you to go to a private school preferably. Learn a couple languages possibly: Mandarin, French, Spanish, Hindi. You're choice. Play an instrument of your liking. Do ballet or some form of dance. Eat all types of food. Travel the world. Pretty much, I want you to have everything I've dreamed of doing and having.

Yes, it sounds like A LOT to accomplish on both of our plates. It is a lot to accomplish, but your mommy is a big dreamer. All she does is dream of events that can occur in the future because the present is so drab sometimes. Might as well think of the great things that can happen, right?

I'm not sure how we are going to get all of this done, honestly. I have very little resources right now... But hey! If you have nothing, what is below that? Exactly. We can only go up from here. Even if it means I have to leave you with Granny, or Thanh or Adiam or Henry even  while I go work my face off until it bleeds in some big city as a poor executive assistant until I get on my feet just to get you the lifestyle you deserve. I'll do it.

I can't promise a perfect life for you with a big house, tons of food, money, a mommy & daddy, and a cat or two, but I will surely try my best.

Love, Mommy

Dear Mia,

It's been a while since I wrote you a letter. Sorry, but I've been busy with school, work, and maintaining a social life, and you've been busy driving me crazy.
So what has happened within the last couple of months?
You have your teacher come once a week now to help you speak better. It's been helping a lot actually and you love it when teacher comes. You like learning and you are very smart! (Apparently you use articles in your little sentences very well according to teacher.) Hopefully you will continue seeing her and you can become a great speaker! I have faith in you.

You now call yourself "Mia" instead of "Mimi". Finally! I thought you hated your name because you refused to say it. You still have trouble with your middle and last name. You call yourself "Mia Kukeo Khailalapafaaunm"... It's ok. I will keep working with you...

Halloween was yesterday and you were a pirate! You loved your costume and wanted to wear it everyday. Then you wanted  me to buy another one! Say what?! No. Sorry. I don't spoil you like that. Only occasionally. But trick or treating sucked. We went to Wenna's neighborhood and no one was out! No porch lights were on, no decorations, no kids running around. I feel like trick or treating is going to be gone as you grow older... But it's ok. I bought you some candy to make up for it. (But free candy always tastes better...)

You've been visiting your dad more. You love it because he spoils the crap out of you and you get to play with your cousin & friend, Jayden. You always talk about them whenever you leave and can't wait to go back. You definitely have taken on the title of "Daddy's Girl" for real now.

Finally, you have no teeth anymore. Well, two front teeth. On October 9th at about 10:30pm, you were playing with a blanket over your head while I was doing homework. Suddenly, you fell and your teeth hit the TV stand. I went to pick you up and realized that 1 tooth was gone and the other was hanging there. I freaked you, you only cried for about 5 minutes, and we ran to the hospital. Everyone came to the hospital to see if you were alright. Adiam, Nujuma, Mary, your dad. Thanh even stayed up to see if you were ok. Luckily, everything is fine. our right tooth is in a box in your room (sorry, the tooth fairy didn't come), and your left tooth is still in your gum. The dentist said it might come back down or just die. Yeah. Just die up there. So now you look different but I'm used to it now. You learned how to eat & bite into things differently now. I guess your making the best out of a scary situation. This may sound mean, but I'm kind of glad it was both of your front teeth because if you only had 1 fall out, you would look like Patrick from Spongebob. This way is cuter.

Love, Mommy.

Au Natural Avec le Chop #11

LENGTH CHECK TIME!!
It's been a year, 5 months and 11 days since I last permed my hair. It's currently about 90% natural, which I am ok with now. The nasty perm isn't as noticeable but still trying to tease me. Big bully...
 I love how its so much easier to comb through now that the perm is almost gone. Which is surprising because everyone thinks curly hair is el Diablo when it comes to combs. Mine isn't at least.
Anyway! Here are some length check pictures.

Freshly washed hair. Looks SO SHORT. 

The truth behind the curls!!! My hair now is longer in 1 year & 5 months than my permed hair was! It grows so fast now. Before it took forever to grow out my hair =[ 

Side.

Back. (Ignore my anorexic looking shoulder blade popping out...)

That's it for now! See another length check in a few months!

Au Natural Avec le Chop #10

Well, today makes it a year and 5 months since I last permed my hair. I am still amazed that I have made it this far! Who would have thought Raven, the girl who has had perms regularly since before she could even do multiplication or write legibly would ever have a fro growing out of her head?

I wouldn't. Sure I like my hair now. It's growing on me... Literally... And yes, it is a lot of work. A LOT of work. But I guess it works out for me since I am a perfectionist and I make time to tackle my nappy bits. Even if it means I wake up at the middle of the night to wash and detangle it.
(That's what I did last night!)

Now that it has been well over a year and my permed ends we getting quite loco en mi cabeza, I decided to eliminate them. Weekly, monthly, daily, hourly. I took matters into my own hands and started chopping away! BWAHAHAHAHA! Now my head is about.... 75% natural, I would say.... I'm not sure. I've just been cuttin' what I'm seein'. I now it's probably jacking up my hair shape/style/how-it-will-fall-when-I-straighten-it, but hey! I guess this will give me more incentive to NOT straighten my hair! (And haven't since August 2010). I don't even know when my flat iron or blow dryer are anymore... But hey! You gotta do what you gotta do to reach a goal. And mine is to be 100% natural by October 21 (MY BIRTHDAY!!) without spending $80 at a salon. I don't trust hair technicians... They always do hair styles I HATE. That's why I haven't been to one since I graduated high school (May 21, 2008).

Well, to end this nappy blog, I shall conclude with photos!

 

Before I started cutting my permed ends. Look how long they were! I had 1 string of permed hair reach well past my shoulder blade.

Thumbs up for AFRICA!

Snip-snip!

Fro-ing it out with Mi-mi. 

Le fro. 

Au Natural sans le Chop #9

So I still hate shrinkage...

My hair would be so much longer without it but no. Raven has to have tight curls/waves that make me look bald-headed if I had no permed ends. *sigh* It will grow eventually....

Permed ends also get on my nerves but I'm managing to get by with them.... They're like the ugly stepchild you accept & love.... until they move out & go to college or something. I'm waiting for mine to finally enroll in University of Trashamanca. (The sister to University of Salamanca in Spain)

But until then, here are some pics de mi pelo rebelde.

Curl puff!

Loca, loca, loca.

Side twist & side out

With love, Nappy Cicada

Au Natural sans le Chop #8

So, it has been a month and some days with me living like with DEEZ NAPPS. Sans les braids. Sans le securidad de perm. (I know... I mixed French & Spanish)

It's been doing well. I pretty much do the same 3 hair styles everyday... Only because I'm too lazy to look on youtube for more ideas. Plus those girls actually know how to do hair.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! I never did anything with my hair when I had a perm either. Yes... boring Raven...

I barely even know how to braid correctly, let alone cool twisty, braidy, corn-rowy cool stuffs. Gosh...No soy muy talentosa con pelo. =[

I also cut about an inch of perm off of my bangs. Por que te preguntas?? Estaba aburrida. If I pull my bangs down, the curly part comes to a little bit lower than my eyebrows. (And I have a big forehead, so that's a lot.) I just hate shrinkage! ROAR!!

Natural black people like my face would be perceived as having much longer hair if curls didn't shrink up as much. *Sigh*

Even Mia has a problem with shrinkage & her hair is barely curly at all! (It's down to her middle back now when you stretch it out & shoulder blades when its just down.)

Pero mi pelo es mas mejor que yo pensé que sería. Estoy soprenda. Y ojalá que un día mi pelo crecera muy, muy larga con rizos y todo. =]

(I don't know why I wanted to write in spanish today. Use goole translate if you don't sprechen sie Spanish)

Dear Mia,

You've come a long way my little stink bug fat face. From the little thing that slept all day to this overly excited 2 year old who hates to hold hands when crossing the street.

I guess being a mom who ate fairly healthily through my pregnancy, breast fed you, made you vegan until you were about 8 months old, gave you soy milk instead of regular milk because you might have been lactose intolerant, fed you with glass bottles because plastic can emit synthetic estrogens (which can cause premature puberty), and played classical music while you slept made you into a very liberal minded, free spirited, modern hippie... like me....

And in fact, you have been quite annoying lately.

You are very nosey, like to learn, like to explore and very independent. I know some old school people look at you as if you are weird because most people expect girls to be loving & quiet & subservient. You are the complete opposite... Well, sometimes you give me kisses to get my attention or tuck me in at night, which is loving, but still. You crazy! Besides! I never wanted to raise a slave, or porcelain doll, or trophy wife. MAMA DON’T RAISE NO PUNKS!!!

That is why you will not listen to your Granny and become a singer... Not until I see potential, you go to college (and major in something worth while. not "art history" or some other stupidity like that), and have a job. Then you can try to become a singer.

Other than that, you will be playing an instrument! The cello, violin, piano, oboe, flute, harp. I don't know which one I want to hear being practiced horribly for the first few months.... I like the cello. The violin & flute are too whiny. I say lessons start when you're 5 or 6.

I also want you to do gymnastics or ballet. Or both. This will happen soon since you don't have to learn how to read music (or read at all).

I also want to teach you another language. Spanish will be easy since I already know it, and you'll probably be familiar with Lao if you go around your grandparents more (you just need to learn how to write & read it). Thanh can teach you Vietnamese. I've been teaching myself, but it's an everyday process & I do lessons like once or twice a week...

All I know so far is: Anh (Ba, Ong, Chi) co khoe khong? Cam on, toi khoe, con ahn (ba, chi, ong)?

That's about it and a couple words...

Ahhh. So much to do, so much potential, so little time. And people say American parents let their kids do whatever. Sorry, Mia, but you will have structure & you will succeed.

Move over Tiger Mom. Here comes Black Dragon Mom!!!

Love, Mommy

Au Natural sans le Chop #7

So I think I’m fully used to my new hair now. Napps and all. It’s actually not that nappy as people might expect. It’s just where the permed hair and nappy bits connect is the crazy part. It's SO much harder to detangle. I washed it today & yeah... I hate detangling the transition area.

Ugh! I jut want to cut it but I know I wouldn’t know what to do with my head then...

But at least I know it has been growing quite a bit! You can’t really tell because of curly shrink syndrome, but I can. In one year, it has grown about 5-6 inches which is pretty bomb! It definitely took off growing between September-now because from May-August, it was nothing. Like a centimeter or growth. So about 1/2 - 1 inch of Africa coming out of my roots a month.

Not too shabby. And now that I plan on exercising more & eating more healthily, hopefully it will be at my previous length (a little past my shoulders) by August or September! Whoo Whoo! Well, here are two more hair styles I have worn/tried out. Enjoy & happy nappy days!

Out with the curl.

Full Mowhawk

With love,

The Nappy Grasshopper

Au Natural sans le Chop #6: Un amor extraño

I am probably the last of my friends to say that they like natural hair, but I think I am starting to like my napps...

I KNOW!! Amazing! But I think its because I look better with curly, bigger hair rather than pin straight poop strands. And now that I've let my hair marinate with various concoctions, moisturizers and kaka, I can see that my curl pattern is actually pretty nice. Just the permed hair is kinda..... eh... throws it off.

And I'm learning how to speak my hair's language. You know, Nappenese. Its very difficult language, but I feel if I listen to it more, I will be fluent in the remote language and our lives will be SO much better. Wednesday, man... my hair was saying all types of foul words to me in Nappenese. I wanted to cut it off to make it shut up. But as the days progress, I understand it more. Listen to your hair. You will find out more than just telling it to shut up or yelling back.

Well, here some pics of my day 4 side curly pony. Fast, simple, messy & fun!

Yummy!

A bow but hard to see...

And here's a pic of my curl pattern... more like wavey fuzzy pattern

Au Natural sans le Chop #5: Realization

So. I finally took out the braids & rocking the natural and 1/4 permed crap. I am finally accepting my hair but I'm not completely used to it. I'm still trying to figure out styles, how to keep myself from tearing out my hair and what works & what doesn't.

I have seen that my hair isn't curly or coily. It's more or tight waves. So "curling" products.... I haven't seen much of a "curl" or definition at that when I use them... Kinda depressing. I thought it would have been like my friends' hair because hey! They're African. Africans have curly, coily hair. My people were stolen from Africa. Must me similar, huh?

NOPE! That Irish gene & whatever else crap that is in my gene pool threw off my hair genetics completely & now I don't know what this is! I was sad the first day....... I should have known I had weird genes after seeing Mia's hair is barely curly at all.......

I'm learning to love it & learning to actually do my hair. I never did my hair before. Just perm, straighten, done. Now I have to learn how to braid, twist, cornrow, bantu knot, everything! But I will learn & look hot, hot hot!

Here's some pics of my day one hair and day 2 hair:

Dinky pony tail because I was going swimming. No use it fixing it...

Nice hair style! Twisted it & rolled it up with flexi-rods. Air dried over night. Not the best night of sleep but then again, I haven't had one in a while anyway... Banana clip & big poof!

With love,

The nappy grasshopper.

Au Natural Sans le Chop #4: One Year Anniversary!

Well, I've made it.

One year without a perm today. My hair has not see the creamy narcotics in so long, and I still think it hates me because of my decision...

But it is for its own good. It's been growing quite a bit actually. My curly q's comes below my ears when stretched out which is good! My permed, dead, chemically beaten hairs have either broken off or still holding on for dear life. I plan on trimming it little by little until I'm comfortable enough to say goodbye.

Its so hard. I've had relaxed hair since I was about 6 or 7... somewhere around there. I was old enough to remember getting it but not know exactly when.

(She has nice hair, but mine won't look like this)

I still don't know how exactly my hair looks like curly. I've been trying to figure out what my fellow nappy sisters have been using but its hard to tell what my head will do since I have THOSE GENES.... Those Irish genes up in the mix.... Who knows what will happen?! I just hope it will love me and not be too hard to handle.

So far I have:

Kinky Curly Shampoo & Conditioner

Shea Moisture Curl Enhancer

Giovanni Shampoo & Conditioner

(I use this on Mia's hair!)

I don't want to have to wake up 4 hours before school just to deal with my hair and then end up trying to fix it in traffic. I already wake up 3 hours before class and that's already una tortura.

I will be sure to keep you guys updated on my hair when I take out my braids this up coming weekend. I shall conclude this blog with pictures of fellow afro ladies!

(I think my hair is gonna be more like Solange's. Wild with no exact curl pattern)

With love,

Raven & Señora Nappy Strands

My Addiction Came Back...

It's not video games, coffee, illicit substances, lawful substances, narcotics, or food...

It's shopping....

In high school i liked shopping. Me ENCANTABA ir de compras. I shopped so much that I don't know where I spent all of my hard earned Regal movie theater pay checks. (And by hard earned, I mean sweat shop, slavery hard work)

Then college came along. I spent/spend about $40-$50 a week on gas commuting to the ATL, so I cut my budget to just eating at school 2-3 times a week so I'd only spend approximately $10-$20 on novelties y comida (food for non-spanish speakers). I rationed my dinero because who can I ask for money because I was being careless & spent it all? NO ONE! I only ask my parents for money to buy books for school. Everything else is my cheddah. Gas, credit card bills, clothing, oil changes, tires, brakes, toiletries, computers, some food, etc...

I didn't go shopping for nearly a year....June 2010-April2011. Like really buy myself clothing, jewelry, accessories, etc... I would treat myself to only ONE item at a time every couple of months... about 3-5 month spans between.

Now that the semester is almost over & I still see I have a pocket full of BIG FACES from not spending JACK, I went to the mall & treated myself to 2 shirts & a pair of sandals!!!! I hadn't bought that much in one outing in FOREVER.

I went again the next weekend and bought 4 items. Then there was a sale at Bath & Body Works while I was shopping for Mia. Now... I want to go shopping more!

Shopping is a horrible, TERRIBLE, ungrateful addiction! Only because it can't go away. I'm sure I'm gonna need new clothing because of tears, stains, lack of style or I'll gain 44 kilos (20 pounds)! Its not like alcohol where its not necessary or other substances that are just done for the recreation and stupidity. SHOPPING IS NEEDED!

But I must control myself from these urges... And overcome this stupid thing called Shop-a-holism.

Why I Dislike Movies with "Love" Stories

I just got done watching Remember Me for the first time. It was a great movie! Nice story line, sad ending but good message. Always makes a nice movie. Especially if you're scared out of your mind because, like an idiot, you watched Insidious and now you're afraid a demon is right behind you....

On the other hand, I dislike the movie. Why you ask? Because the "love story" intermingling throughout the movie NEVER happens in real life! Are you serious?! He walks up to a girl in a, I guess, student center at school because of a bet, they go on a date and magically fall in love with each other.

Get out of here!

It's stupid. The rest of the story was more "real life" situations. Daddy issues. Bother committed suicide. Bullying at school. Ok. Ally and Tyler story?? Yeah.... Only happens in movies & that's why it IS in a movie.

Things never happen so happily in the real world. That's why there's such a high rate of divorce, crazy people, greedy people, sad Facebook statuses about boy/girl problems and desperation. This picture suits a real life relationship more.

And if you want MORE realistic...

Yeah... they only had a picture with 2 girls... I wanted to find one with 4 or 7 girls to be even more accurate, but this will do.

I don't know. I just find "love stories" over exaggerated and highly predictable. They need me to be a director and make a REAL love story movie! **note to self: start writing script and put on youtube**

But overall, the movie was nice, the story was good, and yet another movie made to make girls have false hopes and think they'll actually have a love story just like this one..... *ahhhhh* The wonders of movies. =]

Dear Mia

It's been a while since I wrote you last. I've been busy trying to keep my grades up so we can have a good life, and you've been annoying me. So I didn't write you.

Kidding.

But really. You're quite the annoying little toddler, but you also are very funny. So that makes up for it.

Like one day, you got a cup of juice, and I guess you must have been extra thirsty or something because you said, "Mmmm. This good. This JUICE!!" You reminded me of one of those 200 pound babies on Maury.... Well... By the time you read this, you won't know what Maury is, but I'll inform you.

It's nice to hear your speech improving after you had your surgery. Now you're saying words I didn't think you had the concept of, putting together more sentences, and repeating me more often. Even at McDonald's, you repeated my whole order because you're funny like that. You still have an accent though... Pig is "peeg", horse is "haa" (with a falling-down tone like the #5 in Lao), phone is "fom", frog is "fron". Not sure where you get it from, but I guess you lived in Laos in your past life.

Oh, I might as well get this out now. Sorry I gave you laryngitis. You currently sound like a little boy going through puberty with a raccoon attached to his trachea. Its funny, but then it's sad hearing you cough because I know how painful it is. But you'll get better soon. And maybe you'll have a Tickle Me Elmo laugh like me now! (And I might have to inform you about Tickle Me Elmo also...)

And I dislike the fact that you call me "Raven", and fight with me over it. You only say "mom/mama" when you want something. "Please! Ma-ma!" I guess this shows you know how to trick people (which can me good), and that you're aware of your surroundings/details. You know I'm your mom, but you also know my name is Raven. You better stop soon... I look like your sister or nanny already out in public and you calling me "Raven" makes it worse.

But it's nice seeing you're like a real person now and I can actually have a mini conversation with you. You tell me how you feel now, if you want to eat, what hurts, and say your favorite sentence: "I doo-doo."

I hope that stays your favorite sentence forever. =]

Love,

Mommy

Day 29: A picture that can always make you smile

Day 27: A picture of yourself and a family member

Day 28: A picture of something you're afraid of

Bees. They make me want to produce fecal matter in mis pantalones.

Chickens & birds in general just seem so dangerous.

This makes fecal-ation also...