Friends? With You?

Have you ever wanted to stay friends with an ex? Have you ever wanted to stay friends with an ex, but couldn't? Has being friends with an ex caused problems with a new relationship?

Well, I've dealt with all of this.

Out of the... 4 boyfriends I have had, I am only friends with one. We still talk occasionally, check up on each other's lives and see if everything is ok. I admire our friendship because we make each other laugh, talk about our relationship problems & good things in relationships, the past, the present & some future. It's nice...
And, no. This is not my "baby daddy". I am actually not "friends" with him anymoe. I feel as if we didn't have Mia, we would not even think about looking at each other again, let alone keep each other's Myspace, Facebook & phone numbers. There is this awkward tension between us whenever I drop off Mia or he picks her up. We barely even look at each other. I know the break up was not the greatest thing in the world & we have different views, values, beliefs & goals, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. For Mia's sake atleast.... But I don't know how to fix it and things can't be fixed with just one person cooperating. (Plus I don't know how to talk... to him atleast) Maybe one day we'll be able to work out our differences and be friends for the Mi-ster...

Yeah... This picture is for another blog. I'm just putting it here for safe keeping...

And then, there's the horrible break up. ( That's not supposed to be me in the pic. I never hold on to what is not there) OMG. I haven't even looked at this boy in 5 years. In school, if we walked past each other, our eyes were fixed straight ahead, noses turned up & strolled past making sure not to accidently bump into each other as we pass. He wasn't the greatest thing ever & he was definitely not my cup of tea. I saw him this summer at a bowling alley. It was like high school all over again. Walk past each other with just a glimpse of them in the corner of ur eye just don't make eye contact. (It shows your soul) Would I like to fix this issue with him? Sure! Why you ask? Because I don't want people thinking I hate them when I die when deep down, it's just some misunderstanding... But I doubt this would ever happen...He seems too big headed...

Sorry. I just thought this one was funny. ^___^ If people really did this, the there would be alot of single people out there... and STDs...

Then there's the jealous new boyfriend or girlfriend who is jealous that you still talk to your ex because of insecurities that you will leave him or her for him or her again. The way I see it, if we haven't gotten back together after this freakin' long, we aren't going to...
Or maybe ur boyfriend or girlfriend are TOO close to his or her ex. Like, they're best freakin friends. That can cause some issues... Of course. But I guess that's his or her choice in the end. Who matter more? The past that didn't work out? Or the future which has its possibilities?
Then again, some people are afraid of the future, so they hold on to what they had because its familiar. (But that's another topic)

So how do you feel about break ups? Do you stay friends with your exs? Do you want to fix the friendship between an ex?

Check out my other blog!

I have another blog on Xanga.

Here, I have my fans & such on

Datingish.com

Momaroo.com

Mancouch.com

and others. I've had SOOOO many views for my blogs lately.

I've had atleast 7490+ in the past week for my posts.

here are the links to some of my posts & I'll be sure to let you guys know if I put 1 up on 1 of these sites! =D

Disapproval of a Young Mother

Do Bi-Racial Babies Get More Hype?

My baby is the sweatiest baby...

Talk Sweet to Me <-- This 1 got posted yesterday & already has 937+ views!

You can find my xanga here and I'll let you know if I have a post featured on 1 of these websites! woo-woo! Its a privledge to have ur post on 1 of the websites cuz it goes thru the editors & if they think its worthy to be publicized, then BAM! I'm so proud of myself... I have fans already!!

Dont forget to read my previous blog about my fave songs!

Songs I Admire

#1 Gravity by Sara Bareilles

This song is initally about a break up that a girl (or boy) can not get over.

It is pretty much like she is addicted to the guy and can not move on.

This is my #1 fave song (as of for the past 2 weeks. It's so beautifully written,

so emotional, so talented. Just listen. You'll see why...

#2 Did Ya by BoA

This is about a girl who broke up with a guy who was no good. I love the part

where she's like "You should have known I'm not gonna sit

around and wait for you to get your act together."You go girl! Such a

black lyric. lol. *sings*"You shoulda love me right when you had me...."

#3 What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts

Ahhh... And yet another heart broken song. A guy who misses his lady so

dearly, and expresses it through song. This song is so beautiful. *tear*

#4 For the Nights I Can't Remember by Hedley

This song is beyond cute. This is song for a relationship that is falling apart,

but he wants to hold on to it. I love it.

Now only if guys really did this in real life. (They aren't creative anymore, sadly)

#5 Speechless by The Veronicas

This song is about a guy who found a wonderful guy and his wonderful-ness

make her speechlees "when you talk to me. You leave me breathless the way you look

at me..." lol. This is a like the perfect wedding song. (If you really felt like this & loved

the person. Not just to play the song...)

#6 Me, Myself and I by Beyonce

*ahhh* Another strong black woman. I LOVED this song the first time i heard it.

"Love is so blind it feels right when its wrong. I can't believe I fell for your

schemes,I'm smarter than that. So dumb and naive to believe that with me

you're a changed man.Foolish of me to compete when you cheat with loose

women. It took me some time, but now I moved on..." It is like so me!

I get hurt, shocked punched (not literally),

but I just pick up the pieces and move on...Like you're supposed to.

#7 Nobody by Wondergirls

I love the Wondergirls! Even though they are just learning english,

these girls can sing, yo!This is about a girl who wants a guy to come

back to her cuz hey! She wants him!Its so catchy! Listen!

I will sing & dance this song to Nick Simmons one day... Then Shia...

"How can I be with another, I don't want any other. Honey, you know

its you that I wantIts you that I need. Why can't you seeeeeeeeeEEEEEEeee?!"

Love it!

"I Mistaked the Devil for Cupid"

"I mistaked the devil for cupid" is a line from my sister's poem she recently wrote and I enjoyed the poem very much. (good job) But this line caught my attention the most.

Have you ever met someone and thought he or she was like THE ONE. Thought he/she was the greatest thing since sliced bread. They were cute, kind, caring, great to talk to, everything you ever wanted in a boy or girlfriend or even friend.

Until one day, things change. This perfect angel turns into someone you don't know. Jealousy, deciet, lies, empty promises, cheating, everything bad you can think of, he or she does.These ones are always the ones that get us, and they know to go for the most vulnerable people too.

I think we've all dealt with something like this. Some more severe than others.

People turn out to me nothing like we would have expected. Or is it all in our minds?

Do we make up how we want people to be in our minds and then see who they really are once we get to know them better?

I think I do this sometimes, sadly. I imagine how things could be and then I'm just let down because I see who they really are. I'm not a religious person, but I do believe in God. Devil? Not so much.... I don't believe people are driven to do evil things by the Devil as a way for him to raise his army back up again and take over Heaven one day. I don't believe people are driven by God to do good things.

I believe every person is born with choices. The Godly choices & the Devilish choices. I believe we have a little bit of both in us. Good and Bad. Angelic and Evil. We just choose which ones we want to express. Some people just get a kick out of hurting others. Some people try so hard to be a good person, but just go un-noticed. Some don't care that they are hurting you.

I believe in karma. People who do evil and hurtful things will get what is coming to them. They will meet someone even more evil and decietful than they are. (They always say there is always someone better than you) I love when these things happen. A bad person falls in love with someone and suddenly is heart broken because he or she cheated, lied or doesn't love them back.

Sorry for being cold hearted, but I love seeing this happen.

So before you think of being a cheater, liar, or do something wrong (and you know its wrong) just remember, what goes around comes around. There is always someone more hurtful out there than you...

Are You His Trophy?

Have you ever thought of what it would be like to be a trophy wife? Or trophy girlfriend? Or trophy whatever-you-are-to-him?

Sitting at home, buying whatever you want, playing tennis at the country club, having tea parties and business dinners for your husband. Hum... sounds nice....

Oh... Sorry. That's for the rich people who can actually get a country club membership...

Sitting at a party not allowed to say a word to anyone. You just have to sit there and look pretty. Him walking around the mall with you lookin' at other people like, "Yeah. This is mine. You can't have this."

Yeah... That one doesn't sound too flattering.

But that's how I feel about... hum... 98% of the time...

I don't know. I just feel as if there are too many guys out there just looking for a pretty face to show off to their boys or show off whenever they go out. Either that, or there are too many guys out there trying to pretend they wanna be up in your face, but actually wanna have about 4 other faces also. (One of the two. Pick your choice) But that is another blog topic...

Sure, guys want something nice to look at because I know I don't want no Lil Wayne lookin' at me when I wake up. Ugh! Unless you like that kinda junk, then you go right ahead. Jesus...

"Pretty face, thick in the waist." "Long hair, don't care", "Lookin' like Halle Berry, Lauren London, Toya & Nia Long!" Sure, no one is that perfect (well, they aren't perfect either) but some like the attention. To hear their boys say, "Whoa! You gotcha self a nice one. You hittin' that?" He says, "Oh yeah! You know it!" (Whatever guys talk about.) Boost of self confidence & he's good for the rest of the day!

Now what does this do to the girl? Well, unless you like being shown off like a nicely cooked steak, then you have no problem with it.

Me, on the other hand, see myself as if I more than an object that can be used & paraded around. (And I hope other girls feel the same way too.) Of course I don't look anywhere near Toya, Tiny or Beyonce, I'm not "thick" in any way (and would NEVER want to be over a size 5) or have "long hair, don't care". So why do I keep attracting such negative male specimens? You tell me. I'm baffled.

But all I can say about the trophy wives, girl friends, friends, hoes, whatevers, you are worth so much more and can find someone who can actually care about you. Sure, he isn't gonna pop outta mid-air like Prince Aladdin, but he's out there... I hope...If not, Oops! Sorry. I lied =D

(lol) But still. Think the next time you start talking to a guy or get in to a relationship; think if he actually likes you for you, flaws & all or just for how hot you look in those jeans & how nicely your boobs over flow in that tank top. =/

You can do way better...

How do you feel about trophy girls? Have you ever been a trophy girl to anyone?

Boobies Galore!

We all have them. Some more or less than others... But still. We all got em. But gosh... Are mine small. I feel like I'm not porptional... When I got pregnant, I went from a precious 32A to a nice looking 32B. Then when I started breastfeeding, I had a very nice 32B/32C. Yes you guys, a C. That was only when my boobs were VERY full (which hurts like a dull ache). Shocking? Slightly. Attention grabbing? I'd think so.

They were SO nice. Perky, pretty and for the first time in my life, I had cleavage without squeezing my arms together! (Like how I used to do) It was beautiful. Some days, they looked like implants. Literally. I have a picture where it looks like I just got implants in because they have that implant-round-fake look. You know what I'm saying?? Let me find a pic...

Like this!! Exactly like this! lol. Posh Spice... You see the fake round-looking-ness?! I'd show you the pic, but I don't want my boobs all out there on the internet... Just ask & I'll decide to show you personally. =]

Now that I have stopped breastfeeding (Mia weened herself...), I'm back to square 1. All those size B bras engulf my little pectorials. =[ They seem sad. I need to do some push-ups to bring them back up again. It's kind of sad how before I took such good care of my body and now I look like this. I used to look like this **see below** Not exactly like this, but you get the idea. No alcohol or white looking, but small, non-existant boobs, flat abs, but I had thighs... Still do...

It's kind of sad that I do get slightly jealous that:

1) My bikini top looks like flat triangles on my chest & other girls actually have peaches, grapefruits and cantalopes under the tops.

2) I don't have cleavage. Just sternum....just sternum... I'd have to duct tape them just to even get a hint of cleavage

3) I could never use my boobs to get my way. =[

4) All my size B bras taunt me T_____T

Anyway! Boobies are nice. They are decoration, a food supply and just yell "I'm a girl!" No matter what your size is or if you didn't get to say "good bye" to yours like how I did (*tear*), you are beautiful regardless. =}

So shake what you have! (Or don't have)

What would we do without them?! Would guys still find us attractive it we had no boobs like them? Do you think you'd look better with bigger/smaller boobs?

Love Has No Past Tense

I never thought about this until I saw it.

Think about it.

Have you ever said "Yeah, I loved her, but not anymore"
or "He used to love me back in the day."

Well, if you truely loved a person, wouldn't you still be with that person now??

That's why I say I have never been in love before & this icon helps me explain myself. I always hear "You never loved your baby daddy?!" Well, if I did, I wouldn't be single right now, would I?? *says rapidly: "inyoface"*

I was in love with the thought of being a big happy family, but then there was no "happy" part.

Next time you want to say "I love you" to a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, fiance, husband, friend, think of how you truely feel about that person. The "L" word is thrown around so much these days that it's meaning is really losing its intensity. Kind of hard to believe it when someone says it sometimes.

"Like" is better. Use that until you truely know how you feel about that person. I'd say wait.... about 6 months to a year before throwin' the "L"-bomb, 'cuz hey! You wanna see their true color, don't you?

**Read my blogs from yesterday about My #1 fan and Sugar Daddys. And I don't mean the candy!**

Coming soon! My FAVE Youtube videos. Some are so funny, you'll wanna share it with the world.

Can You Be My Daddy?

And I'm not talking about the candy...

Here are some of the definitions of a "sugar daddy" found on urbandictionary.com if you don't know what this is...

Sugar Daddy:
1) Like a genie - he may be a little old, but if a girl rubs his lamp, he'll grant her wishes.
(She uses her sugar daddy for his money, but he sure gets some service in return!)

2) A man who provides money or other favors in exchange for sexual relations
("All that bitch wants is a sugar daddy.")

3)An older man who is able to gain a younger woman by having lots of cash and assets. The younger woman is known as a 'gold digger'. A sugar daddy is generally being used by the 'gold-digger' for his house, cars and money.
(Female: "Shit...I did too many drugs throughout skool, how am I supposed to earn income?...I know! I'll get myself a sugar daddy.")

Those were funny. But still... It's kinda gross if you think about it. Some of these guys are like 40+, maybe even 60+ looking for a hot piece of eye candy to get some boom-boom from and she gets a Mercedes, some Prada shoes, & get to ride his Rolls Royce or Maybach down Rodeo Drive for the week. Hey! She might even get a shopping spree in Paris is he's THAT rich.

To me, this is not appealing. No matter how much I love shopping and designer everything, I could never stoop down this low to go out to get a sugar daddy. My goods are too good for some nasty old perv to be having fantasies about. Ugh. On top of that, some girls have more than 1 sugar daddy! Say what?!

How does a girl keep up with them all?! They're like little pets!

And the new VH1 show "Megan Wants a Millionaire" doesn't make the whole sugar daddy idea so dim either. A bunch of men with money showering a not so attractive (to me atleast) girl with expensive gifts & telling her how beautiful she is. Sounds nice for the moment until:

1) You see how ugly he really is.

2) You get tired of the gifts. After a while, you'll have everything.

3) He might run outta money. We're in a recession you know.

Regardless if you like the idea of a sugar daddy or not, people will still continue to do it. Some girls like the attention and gifts, while others (like mysefl) are more in to the sentimental things in life. You know. Like a macaroni necklace/project with our initals in it. Or Flowers. Or writing a song for me. Or just coming up with something creatively thoughtful. That's way better than some Versace glasses and a Chanel bag with a Chihuahua in it.

How do you feel about sugar daddys? Would you get one (or have one)? Which gifts are better: a thoughtful & creative once in a while or designer gifts and anything you want?

This is for my Number 1

So, I wanted to write a little blog for my amigos who stay up to date with the infamous blog or Raven!

And for those of you who are just now starting to read my blogs... well, you're just not cool enough to be apart of the Raven Fan Club... yet...

Ahhh... First of all, I'd like to say thank you for reading my blogs and letting me know how you feel about them. I try to keep them light hearted, funny, emotional, and up lifting as possible. You know. A little something for everyone. For the emos, the goths, the preps, the pessimists, the gangstas, the thugs, the optimists, the mothers, the students, the teens, the heart broken, the loved, and most of all, for YOU!!

I started writing my blog because:

1) I was bored as balls.

2) I actually like writing how I feel.

I don't like writing reports though. I just like being able to express myself without speaking. I'm not a great speaker. Writing gives me a chance to vent and let all my emotions out that I can not say out loud, can't find the words for and I won't hurt people's feelings directly. So I do it indirectly. =D (And about 75% won't know I'm talking about them) >=]

Sure, I'd keep writing regardless if I had followers and such, but just knowing that people like my blogs so much makes me feel like I'm doing pretty good. Move over Perez! Raven gon' take yo spot home dawg!

But I would like to shed some spotlight on my #1 fan:

Thanh Nguyen

Isn't she smokin'?! Hot Mama! (Minus the mama part) Anyway. I have known Thanh for about... 5 years now?! Gosh. Ever since freshman year of high school we have been really good friends. Such good friends that she is the God mother of my Mia. So if anything happens to me, my mother or Tyler, Thanh, you better make sure little stinker doesn't grow up to be a hooker!

But Thanh told me that she has bookmarked my page and reads every blog that I put up. What a loyal fan. *tear* Makes me proud that I'm such a good blogger. The sad thing is that my Thanh has moved to South Carolina and we only get to see her every once in a while. Maybe we will come visit you some time soon and I will hug your head like this man is hugging the cabbage.

we miss you dearly. And I miss my cabbage. =[

Anyway. I know there are other fans out there sayin' "I read ur blogs too!!" But hey! You never let me know. So let me know how you feel about my blogs & you will soon be in my fan blog #2! whoop-whoop!!

"It's just a little crush"

*ahhhh* Who doesn't love a good crush.

But what we all love the most!

Having a crush & them never knowing.

That's always wonderful.

(And I like how Alicia Keys just up & tells the guy she stalks him)

I remember back in the day when we had our little crushes in high school & middle school.

Those were the days. Making up code names for the guy.

Water. Jelly. M. Pants. Potato. Corn. Tiger.

Tree.. Egg Roll. Jungle Boy. Orange. Hungry.

Well, I didn't like "Water" . We also made up code names

for people we didn't like either.

Stalking the mess outta them til we knew their every

class, every friend, and every outfit they had in their closet.

I remember one of my friends & I looked up the guy's last name in the phonebook & called almost every name

in the phonebook til we got tired. (That was back when we didn't have cell phones & such)

*Sigh* All of that for a guy's attention. Now what do we do?

Flirt like a muther. And my favorite, Facebook stalk. Mmmm... Who doesn't love a good creeper who will show their

admiration through Facebook stalking? I know I do! (lol) It's kinda creepy because you don't know who is all up

in your bizz, but its also good because the guy or girl you like won't know that you know what they did last night,

what they ate for breakfast, who was tagged in all their picture or how much they hate their job and their mother is

annoying. Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Bi, you know you've stalked someone before... even just a little.

But there is 1 thing a creeper/stalker should never do.

DON'T GET CAUGHT.

So do you remember those young naive days of crushes & puppy love?

How did you stalk your "Secret Lovers" and crushes? Did they ever catch you?

My Celebrity Crushes♥

so. This is ♥Nick Simmons. Son of Gene Simmons (the lead singer of the band Kiss) And he was born January 22, 1989 which means he just turned 20 this year & young enough to be my future husband. (lol) I don't know why I find his so mysteriously hot but I do. Judge me all you want, this boy is fine. Such a Cali boy... But he is possibly my biggest celeb crush. His long, scruffy hair, deep seductive voice, & he inherited his fahters abnormally long tongue... creepy, but unique. Oh how I'd love to see our future black/Jewish/Canadian babies... Beautiful. Just like him

Aubrey (Drake) Graham. Do I need to say more? Just look! What's not to love? Except the much cussing in his song "The Best I Ever Had". Rihanna can move her little beat up ass over! I'm taking him if Nick doesn't break up with his girlfriend! I'll beat u up worse than Chris Brown eva did! (lol) That was mean... But true.

Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes. Why do I like him? Maybe its the multiple tattoos. Maybe its the many piercings and gauged ears. Or the big fro of curls. Whatever it is, I think he's adorable. And I'd fight Katy Perry's skank "kissin girls" self any day just to have a date with his creatively crazy self.

Ahh... Shia Le Beouf. What girl hasn't had a crush on him since Even Stevens? (Don't answer that if you haven't. You suck anyway! =D) Ok. So I forgot. If Nick & his girlfriend are serious, then I'm moving to Shia. If Shia & that thing-whore called "Megan Fox" don't work out (and he doesn't get AIDS or herpes from her), then he will be mine... yum. Look! He's looking at me! =D

Bill Kaulitz. He's the leader of the band Tokio Hotel. Now, you might be wondering why I think a guy with long hair & prettier eyelier than most girls is cute. And that's exactly why. Look at those soft features what make you just say, "awww!" I should go to Germany one day & have him teach me his makeup secrets.

And the twin brother of Bill Kaulitz is Tom Kaulitz! It's like a buy one, get one free offer, ok. Sure, they look nothing alike, but I guess it's the unique look he has. How many white boy dreads do you see everyday? How many GERMAN white man dreads do you see everyday? Eh? Eh?

James Blake... Why did you cut your cute hair? Why, God, did you let him cut it off? Couldn't you have used you mighty power & slapped him across the face before he did it? *sigh* He's still attractive though... Just not AS attractive...

Jamie Foxx is nice looking. Not up there with the rest, but decent. If he couldn't sing, dance or act, I'd be like "Bye!"

Freddie Prinze Jr. mmm....

Josh Hartnett. Yes... He was so cute in that Vampire movie... What's it called? 30 Days of Night! Scared the bah-hooties outta me, but his face made it better.

Brian J. White. I used to be obsessed with him.

Boris Kodjoe. Jizzing. Jizzing. Jizzing

Se7en. Aww! Isnt he adorable? Like a little pet Se7en you wanna pinch & hug ^___^ lol

Ok. So I can't think of anymore, but if I do, or any of my feelings change, I'll make a part two! Woo-woo! =D

Forever You and I

I thought this was so cute =]

But as you can see, this blog entry will be about le-marriage. Being married. Why people get married and my opinions/views on the subject.

*WARNING* If you do not support marriage for all, then I suggest you go right up there to the right-hand corner (left-hand side for Mac users) and exit out. And I mean NOW. Unless you're curious. Also, I am not the typical girl who has planned her wedding day at all. I haven't even thought of my wedding day... at all...

Anyway. It seems like these days, everyone is getting married. Weddings are booming like crazy. Ring shoppin', hinting things to your boyfriend like "wouldn't it be great if we had a family of our own?" or "So... When are you proposing?" But is everyone getting married for the right reasons?

I hate how all over the media is displaying that weddings are nothing more than tons of money spent on nothing just so a girl can throw the dream Barbie glitz & glam wedding she has been planning since she was 5 only to divorce the guy about 3 years later. (Ok, maybe a little dramatic) But really. To myself, I feel as if people are getting married for the attention and not because you truely love that person. Kind of as a way to make it ok that you have been living together & getting busy this whole time with out an offical "we're married" title.

Really. Do you think EVERY bride in white is that virginal?

On top of that, I thought this country was supposed to have a separation of church & state. So why can't gay and lebian individuals be married? If they truely love that person, why deny them the right to join as one before God if they aren't hurting you or bothering you? Everyone has to remember, God made people. Which means God MADE gay and lesbian people... (inyoface)

I'm not sure if I'll ever be married. Mostly because I'm a package deal now. Buy 1 Raven get a Mia free! I have to make sure my daughter likes this guy and is comfortable around him also. Marriage is not just for me anymore. It's for MY little family. Also, I'm not sure if I'm wife-material. I'm more on the independent side of the railroad tracks & some guys are intimidated by that. They might want a girl who would listen to their every word like he's the next prophet and I'd probably divorce him before he knew what was happening. And Destiny's Child making that song "Cater 2 U". My religious higer being! I could have cut dem bitches for making a song like that! I would never "cater" to a guy like how they describe. I hate that song... Deeply...

Is it sad that I probably planned my divorce more than I've dreamed about my wedding? I guess because I've been exposed to so much negativity with marriage that I really don't find it as a serious thing. I kind of see it kind of as a joke in a way. (I know what you're thinking. Raven has a heart of ice... and I do. Keeps me strong.) After all, my parents divorced when I was like... 7? Maybe 8? I don't even remember & the marriage wasn't too smooth anyway. *negativity* Plus my disappointment/anger/rage in the past with the male species hasn't helped either... at all...

I just think people need to stop and think if they are making the right decisions before jumping into something SO sacred and religious. (And this is coming from the agnostic girl who avoids going to church)

Me? I'm not sure what the future has in store for me. Maybe I'll be alone with just me, Mia & my chihuahuas. (I want 2-3) Maybe I'll be happily married to one person until I leave Earth. Who knows? My negative views will change as I get older (I hope) and when I actually find a guy worth my time and energy and is serious about a relationship & more... Not just for a fling here & just to say "I gotta gf!" Along with Mia's beauty & presence too. =]

Until then, I'll be happy with what I have: my healthy life and a beautiful little girl to share it with.

"Emotions Taking Me Over..."

What a good song...

But anyway. About the songm the lyrics and most of all, our emotions. Yes.

We all have them.

Some express them more than others.

All I know is that I usually keep mine inside.

Which i know isn't good for you but I don't like to do so because it makes me feel like

im vulnerable and can be taken advantage of because someone might think I am weak.

(long explanation)

But yes.... I guess I'll let some out now... Keyword: SOME

I have a problem with showing excitement. I don't know how to show that I am appreciative either. So I just smile.

Is that weird? I just never know how to show this without looking fake or sarcastic...

Happiness is always nice. Sure it chooses to come around occasionally... more like whenever it feels like saying "HEY!"

lol. But still. Many things make me happy and I appreciate those moments because who knows when they'll be back.

I don't live the most peachy life or lifestyle and its the little things that make me smile and happy that I'm able to

experience them.

Anger, anger,anger. We are too closee of friends. I try not to show it but I'm angry like.... multiple times a day. Many times a week. Thousands of times a year. I just try not to show it because I don't want a bunch of people on my case like they actually

care about my problem... Unless you really do. Then just ask! But I'm not sure if many ppl will ask because I never really tell or show when I'm really angry. Maybe you can read the signals.....

Yes... I used angry Arthur. =P

But mostly I have been disappointed lately. Very. Disappointed in myself, in aquaintances, in loved ones, in friends...

It seems like I expect too much out of myself and I let myself down. Then I put too much trust in people I guess, and then

they just end up letting me down. Especially lately/recently. I was lifted up SO high! And then pushed off the moon to free fall

back to Earth... And the fall, it didn't take that long for me to hit solid ground & shatter. Shattered.

Kinda hurts sometimes, but I'll never show it. Or say anything. I just pick up my pieces , put them back together the best that I can without help

& keep going like nothing happened.Even though it tears me up inside...Sure, everytime I fall, the pieces are not going to be perfectly put back together.

Some pieces are missing little bits. Some are rough around the edges. And I guess eventually, I'll have so many

missing pieces that I won't be able to put myself back together like before... maybe...

<---That was me. falling...minus the "white girlness"

Well, I guess that's all I have for now...

How have emotions gotten in the way with you? How do you cope with and express these feelings?