Why Black People Don't Donate Hair

his is just a satirical blog about hair donations & black women.

Lately, I have been seeing many young girls, shaving their hair for Locks of Love and other hair donation organizations that help people with cancer and, well, don't have locks.

As beautiful I think this is, you don't see many black women shaving their heads for such causes. Here are the reasonings why I believe this:

1) As much as black girls hate their hair, we don't wanna be called "bald headed".

Every black person makes fun of other black people with short hair & calling them "bald headed". Even in that song "Chicken Heads" by Project Pat points it out. "Bald head scalawag. Ain't got no hair on her back." It's funny, until someone says it to you.

2) Do you know how long it takes for black hair to grow?!

While a Caucasian, Asian or Hispanic girl can cut her hair and it will grow back in a matter of months, black hair takes YEARS to grow a couple inches. Why you ask?! No one knows except genetics. We'd be bald headed (or considered bald headed) forever! And it would take until we're 80 to get 10inches of hair to donate!

3) How many afro wigs to you see?

Really. There aren't that many.

4) Unless the wig owner is black, I'm not sure if she would know what to do with it...

Black hair has a mind of its own. Sometimes it cooperates, other times, it rebels. You must learn how to tame it gradually or you might drive yourself crazy.

5) I'm not sure if the receiver will want to avoid water at all costs.

Notice how when it rains, you see less black people at the mall? Ever wonder why? Because one drop of water can cause severe damage, which leads to extensive curliness, which leads to hair you didn't intend to have. And the worse part is when only a section of hair gets wet & the rest is fine. You have to walk around until you get home with half jacked-up hair and the other half fine. It will look like this... with less of the pretty model look.

6) We don't want to be referred to the motherland.

For some reason, calling an African American an African is like someone just insulted your mother. And the stereotype of ALL tribal and African people being bald just points directly to you. As much as we are proud of our African roots (well, some of us), we don't want other people thinking we're "tribal people".

7) We'll never be able to attract a man of another race let alone a black man with no hair.

Really. How many interracial couples do you see with the girl bald? They would never accept the bald or afro! Black men either. Dreads, maybe. Fro, eh. Bald, eh eh.... It's already hard enough that we have that "every black girl is ghetto" stigma-cloud floating above us. Now, which Tyra would a man of another race want? Honestly...

8) Some jobs don't like afros.

It's "too unprofessional". So, you will have to live off the money you made selling your hair until you can find a more liberal job.

9) You might be mad at how much you spent on your hair products which now goes to waste until it grows back.

The average perm is $50+ at a salon. Hair products can range from $2-$100+(and you know we buy 1000 different things thinking its gonna make our hair have that "white girl flow"). And not to mention the expensive ceramic flat irons and blow dryers. Its alot!! But hey! While your hair is growing back, you can either save up money because you know how much you're gonna spend anyway, or try new products to see what will make it grow faster!

10) Our mothers would be furious.

I don't know about you guys, but my mom grew up in the south where the lighter your skin and the straighter your hair was, the better off you were, and the more attractive you are. Nappy hair, unacceptable. Afro, accepted in the 70s but not any more! Bald, unthinkable. She would never understand why someone would wanna sell their most prized possession!

Well, that 's all I have for now. And don't get me wrong! I am all for donating hair, afros, bald heads, dreads, curly hair, straight hair, pink, purple or orange hair. So go about with you daily hair lives, and no matter how much your naps don't want to straighten or that humidity ruined your press-n-curl, just remember you are always beautiful if you believe you are.... and use a little more grease next time. =]

Why Waste a Beautiful Mind?

I know I am not at the ultimate "wise" age quite yet, but at my youthful age of 19, for some reason, I've been analyzing life a lot more.

One thing I have noticed with people my age, from about 15+, tend to waste away their lives, power, abilities, kindness, etc. for partying, drugs, alcohol, promiscuous behavior, etc. Sure, partying, flirting, promiscuity, smoking and drinking are fun now, but what will happen later?

Maybe your promiscuous behavior in high school will carry on into college. For example, a girl or boy is known for being a flirtatious, pretty/handsome, immature individual who will probably jump on any guy/girl who looks decent and smells nice while in high school.

Once he or she goes off to college, sure, some old high school classmates may be there too who know of his/her history. They tell their new friends about your past; the new friends tell their friends about this individual and rumors of STDs start, and before you know it, half the school knows how much of a low person you ARE.

Notice I use the word "are" because although this boy or girl may have wanted to change once in college, the past actions still follow, and people will still think he/she is that way. Now, new college people may look lowly of this individual, not take them seriously when trying to get to know someone, or might even take this past promiscuity knowledge to their advantage.

Then, the past can carry on to a job. People always take pictures, and although you can "un-tag" yourself, that person STILL has the blackmail, even if it's you in the background of a picture holding a beer can. No job wants a drug taking, flirtatious bum around.

Then, the stories of promiscuity can be told to you wife or husband. And how shocking would that be to find out your wife or husband was a high school hooker/tramp/words-you-can-probably-fill-in-yourself.

It kind of makes me sad to see people who have the potential to be great, but they waste away their intelligence and talents for useless actions that will mean nothing in the future. I'm not saying to stop partying and having fun. Just do it in moderation. Not EVERY weekend.

And picking up on bad habits now will bite you in the behind later, like smoking. Just look at the health risks & not to mention the money...

The average box of cigarettes costs $4.50. If a person smokes 2 and a half packs a week (this is being modest), that is $11.25 a week, $45 a month, $270 in 6 months, $540 a year. That's $5400 wasted in 10 years. Not to mention the chances of lung cancer, mouth cancer, heart attack, high blood pressure, cataracts, premature aging, yellow teeth/nails, chronic bronchitis, and emphysema. (There's alot more, but I'm not typing it all) Not to mention low birth weight, premature birth and a possible cause for SIDS in infants to mother who smoked while pregnant or smoked after their birth.

Besides, who wants to look like this when they turn 40?!

I would get into the effects of alcohol & possibilities of STDs, but I'll save that for later. =D

Just words of advice, think twice about your actions and see if you can do something worth while, like volunteering, letting that car over that has on his signal, or giving someone a flower you picked instead of grinding on some guy, girl hopping and drinking your youth away.

Update of Raven

So, I haven't written a blog in quite some time.... So here's an update.

I'm learning how to cook. I decided to just look up recipes I was craving and instead of going out an buying it, I'll make it!

The first thing I made was Bun Ga Nuong, which is a Vietnamese grilled chicken salad. It turned out fantastic!!! It was SO good. I'm quite proud of myself especially after ALL that chopping & mincing & marinating. ugh! And the sauce I made with it just made it 10 times better.

Now I made Jiao Zi (Chinese Dumplings) and it turned out quite nice too. A little gingery but still tasty. I'm actually doing quite well with this cooking thing. =D

Once again, sauce = so much better.

Oh god... I'm watching my mom make a Facebook... She doesn't know what she's doing...These are the times I wish I had parents that spoke no English...

Well, the semester is almost over. I have 3 papers to write that are due within 6 days of each other, but I think my history paper will be the death of me. We aren't allowed to use internet sources, 1.5 spacing and heavily footnoted. I hope I'm doing the footnotes correctly... and we must use 5-6 books. Why would he do this to us?!

What else? Mia now knows how to say "that" when she wants something. Or if we are eating and I try to give her something, she'll point and say "that" for what she really wants to eat. (Usually rice or some vegetable.) She's not too big on meat... what a Vegetarian.

I am not looking forward to summer school. Not one bit, but I know I have to in order to graduate within the next 2 years. I just hope I can get a loan to pay off the $8000 to even go to summer school!! -___-

Just looking at my life right now, I really do believe I had reached rock bottom about a month ago. It was hard to even go on with my day to day routine without knowing I'm lying about my happiness. Now that I look at it, how much lower can I go? The only way to go from the very bottom is up! Since I've realize this, I'm much more content with myself & my lifestyle. =]

Tattoos and Raven

So I got my first tattoo on Thursday, March 11, 2010.

It wasn´t so bad actually. Let me walk you through the process...

I picked up Adiam to come along with me because she wanted to document the whole thing and my mom was afraid for me to go alone... Not sure why... but whatever. When we arrived, there were already 2 people ahead of me! And I came 17 minutes after they opened! But it was ok... I just had to wait until 2pm to get mine done... sadly...

Adiam and I went to Starbucks while we waited for my time to come. It was SO steamy in there, I thought my hair was going to frizz up!! When I returned, Kerry, the tattoo guy, was ready to GO! WOOO! I wasn´t... I started to freak out a little while filling out the paperwork but I got through it & made sure I wasn't signing anything that said I had to give up my liver.

So Kerry did the sketch of Mia's footprint, name stencil & we went back to the dungeon.

(and I saw his booty crack...)

He cleaned my back, placed the stencil on my shoulder and that's when my heart started to pound. I endured giving birth to Mia with NO medicine at all & no tears, half of my body was numb during the stitching & no tears; why was I so scared? I guess it was the unknown feeling THIS type of pain.

So Mr. Curly Head started with Mia's name. Small, easy & probably to get me used to the feeling. It wasn't too bad. It felt like a bunch of ant bites but nothing serious. Well... similar to someone poking you repeatedly with a sewing needle. Hurts, but tolerable.

Right after he finished the "a", he jumped RIGHT to the heel part of the foot in circular motions. Now that hurt more. It felt like a mechanical pencil (a pointy one) circling on my back. But after tensing for about a minute, I got used to it & it didn't hurt as much. But when he got to the toes, man. Them toes hurt! I don't know why! But the funny conversations we had during the process made it a lot more relaxing & faster. He's a pretty cool (and funny) guy. And don't forget that nappy hair! =D

He finished in about 20-30 minutes. It was really short & felt like only 5 minutes.. I think him setting up took longer than the actual tattoo! But I love it. The shading matches her actual footprint SO well, and he was a really nice guy, and he didn't charge me my life either. It was cheaper than I thought! I'd get another tattoo by him... Just not any time soon. I need to recover after this one, especially now that its going through it's nasty, peely, flakey, stage. UGH! Overall, the experience was wonderful, not too painful & I had a very nice time there. =]

That baby don't look like you...

It amazes me how much Mia does not look like me and how much she looks like her father, cousin and grandmother.

The only thing Mia and I have in common is our lovely shade of awkward brown that no concealer, foundation and powder ever seems to match. Just magnificent...

But when I pull her hair back, sometimes, she looks a lot like her grandmother. I guess it's a good thing I gave Mia her grandma's first name as her middle name. (lol) This is Grandma Phoukeo holding Mia Phoukeo.

You may not be able to see the resemblance, but when you see her laugh and Mia laugh, you can tell they are related. Even their eye shape is alike.

Now, Mia and her cousin look like brother and sister even though his dad and I look NOTHING alike. We couldn't even say we were related at all.

It's kinda strange, but cute. Because she looks like the girl version of him and he looks like the boy version of her. lol.

Here is Mia, her father and I. Now who does she look like? And don't be nice and say me... lol

When she was born, she looked like his clone. It was kind of scary because it looked like I had no genetic makeup within Mia at all for the first few days... then she turned extra black... But now she's normal shaded like me. =D

Really. Does she NOT look a lot like him? My point exactly.

But no matter how much Mia may not look like me, or people look at me awkwardly when we don't have the same last name (and if I say/spell her last name) or even stare when I tell her to "Maa, gin kao, or baw" rather than say "Come, eat or no", I know she is my little stink-stink. And no matter how much you look like your father and how much we fight and argue, I will still love my Mia P. Khaiphanliane no matter what. Shoot, I'm the one who almost passed out from the immense pain she put me through, she better be my stink-stink!! Hahaha. =]

Dear Mia,

You are a year and month old already, and running the house as if you are the queen already.

And as you grow more and more each day, I can't get over the fact that I have also. While I teach you how to color, how not to eat or pull on the curtains and how to say you alphabet, you are teaching me that nothing else in the world matters except for loving & caring for you, and my responsibility toward that.

You have taught me that instead of going and crying about everything that goes wrong, to just move on: I could have very well slipped into depression, self-mutilation, anxiety attack after the past 2 days have occurred, but I didn't. Of course I was disgusted, saddened, angry, but then I thought. "Why am I working up all these emotions & raising my blood pressure for someone/something that doesn't care. Doesn't care about how I am affected. Doesn't care about how you are affected?" It wasn't worth it. I put some drama ahead of the thoughts of you, and that is unacceptable. So I pushed that bull aside and kept thinking about what we will do on my day off and how you were at home while I was at work & school...

Sure, it would be nice if I could talk to you about how I feel about everything or even see how you feel about everything going on in your life that directly affect you even though you don't know it yet, but sadly, I'll be doing most of the talking. Sure, you will throw in the occasional "Dada? Baaaaa haa?! B-b-b-b-b." and my favorite, "My muh-muh!", but I'll be the story teller. You can be the commentator. Maybe we can go for a long ride sometime soon and I'll tell you the story of Mommy's life & how much better it is having you here with me.

If I could live all over again, starting from the beginning and choose what I want to happen, I wouldn't pass up when you were born. I might have changed some things between your father and I (especially since I know what I know now), and my financial crisis I got myself into, but I wouldn't even think of saying, "I wonder what my life would have been like without Mia" because if you had not been born, who knows where I would have ended up. I was going down a negative rode & I could tell, and you helped enlighten (not Buddha enlighten!) me enough to make me become a more mature, responsible, wise individual with a stronger character than I have ever thought I was capable of obtaining.

Although it was unexpected, thank you for coming into my life.

Love, Mommy.

The Fun of Being Single

Before I start my paper and finish sparknote-ing a book I did not read, I want to shed some light on the single life. People think it's SO horrid, but it's actually pretty stress-less.

#1) You save your money on gifts: No extra money on a good birthday gift, Valentine's day present, Christmas junk, Chinese New Year fun, etc... Spend that hard earned cash on yo self!

#2) No angry texts saying, "Why didn't you text me at all?!": It's just annoying. It's not like your life revolves around just one individual

#3) Your friends don't get mad at you if you say you had plans with ___ already: Now you can focus of perfecting your relationship with your wonderful sidekicks and see their cheery faces!

#4) If you see a nice looking individual, you don't feel guilty for looking: Of course, there are always those couple of people who do have a boyfriend or girlfriend and continue to look at others...

#5) Flirting is a guilt-free trip!: Once again, there are the selected few who still do this with a lover...

#6) It's easier to figure out what type of person you want to be with: Take time to think about your goals and what type of person can fit into your lifestyle.

#7) Self-actualization: Find out who you are before jumping into something.

#8) Your bed is made strictly for you: You don't have to worry about sharing the blanket, cold feet touching yours, snore-ers, the wild sleeper that tries to fight you. You are free to sleep however you want!

#9) You can make yourself happy before trying to make someone else happy: I know I'm one of those people who put everyone before them self. Now, do what you want to do, when you want, how you want.

#10) You are able to love yourself before you can love someone else: Do I need to say more? How can you say you love a boy or girl when you can't love yourself first?

#11) You don't have to hide any flaws because you think that person might not like it:Go on and let your nappy hairs free! It's not like you need to impress anyone.

#12) You don't have to try to impress any parents or family members: Less stress. More sleep.

#13) Who are you gonna start a fight with? The mirror?: Really... there is zero fighting when you're single.

#14) Watch whatever shows you want without complaints: National Geographic, Pitt Boss, Oprah, Dr. Phil, Sappy Lifetime movies, etc... You name it, it's all yours!

#15) Finally, no worries of a break up, cheating or anything else that can let you down!: You have nothing else to worry about!