Thursday, May 20, 2010

Why Black People Don't Donate Hair

his is just a satirical blog about hair donations & black women.

Lately, I have been seeing many young girls, shaving their hair for Locks of Love and other hair donation organizations that help people with cancer and, well, don't have locks.
As beautiful I think this is, you don't see many black women shaving their heads for such causes. Here are the reasonings why I believe this:

1) As much as black girls hate their hair, we don't wanna be called "bald headed".
Every black person makes fun of other black people with short hair & calling them "bald headed". Even in that song "Chicken Heads" by Project Pat points it out. "Bald head scalawag. Ain't got no hair on her back." It's funny, until someone says it to you.

2) Do you know how long it takes for black hair to grow?!
While a Caucasian, Asian or Hispanic girl can cut her hair and it will grow back in a matter of months, black hair takes YEARS to grow a couple inches. Why you ask?! No one knows except genetics. We'd be bald headed (or considered bald headed) forever! And it would take until we're 80 to get 10inches of hair to donate!
Longest Hair
3) How many afro wigs to you see?
Really. There aren't that many.
60s 70s afro wig Pictures, Images and Photos

4) Unless the wig owner is black, I'm not sure if she would know what to do with it...
Black hair has a mind of its own. Sometimes it cooperates, other times, it rebels. You must learn how to tame it gradually or you might drive yourself crazy.

5) I'm not sure if the receiver will want to avoid water at all costs.
Notice how when it rains, you see less black people at the mall? Ever wonder why? Because one drop of water can cause severe damage, which leads to extensive curliness, which leads to hair you didn't intend to have. And the worse part is when only a section of hair gets wet & the rest is fine. You have to walk around until you get home with half jacked-up hair and the other half fine. It will look like this... with less of the pretty model look.

6) We don't want to be referred to the motherland.
For some reason, calling an African American an African is like someone just insulted your mother. And the stereotype of ALL tribal and African people being bald just points directly to you. As much as we are proud of our African roots (well, some of us), we don't want other people thinking we're "tribal people".

7) We'll never be able to attract a man of another race let alone a black man with no hair.
Really. How many interracial couples do you see with the girl bald? They would never accept the bald or afro! Black men either. Dreads, maybe. Fro, eh. Bald, eh eh.... It's already hard enough that we have that "every black girl is ghetto" stigma-cloud floating above us. Now, which Tyra would a man of another race want? Honestly...

8) Some jobs don't like afros.
It's "too unprofessional". So, you will have to live off the money you made selling your hair until you can find a more liberal job.
9) You might be mad at how much you spent on your hair products which now goes to waste until it grows back.
The average perm is $50+ at a salon. Hair products can range from $2-$100+(and you know we buy 1000 different things thinking its gonna make our hair have that "white girl flow"). And not to mention the expensive ceramic flat irons and blow dryers. Its alot!! But hey! While your hair is growing back, you can either save up money because you know how much you're gonna spend anyway, or try new products to see what will make it grow faster!
10) Our mothers would be furious.
I don't know about you guys, but my mom grew up in the south where the lighter your skin and the straighter your hair was, the better off you were, and the more attractive you are. Nappy hair, unacceptable. Afro, accepted in the 70s but not any more! Bald, unthinkable. She would never understand why someone would wanna sell their most prized possession!

Well, that 's all I have for now. And don't get me wrong! I am all for donating hair, afros, bald heads, dreads, curly hair, straight hair, pink, purple or orange hair. So go about with you daily hair lives, and no matter how much your naps don't want to straighten or that humidity ruined your press-n-curl, just remember you are always beautiful if you believe you are.... and use a little more grease next time. =]


  1. I sat here with my mouth open after reading this. You really need to research your culture more. Black women are growing their hair to long, healthy lengths (mid-back, even waist length in months not years); we have learned that water is amazing for our hair and loving our kinky texture; black women across the WORLD are cutting their head off and men of all races are finding it sexy; and we are donating hair because we understand our hair more. You really should do more research ... Start with YouTube and follow the amazing hair journey of black women every where. But this post is insane!

  2. This has to be about the dumbest thing I ever read. Point. Blank. Period.

  3. What a joke! This was intended to be insulting. But so untrue! It cant even be taken seriously. waste of space. written in poor taste!

  4. I am really ashamed. Black people face too much critism already, we don't need more from each other! I am a person of colour who has donated my hair multiple times, and have had gorgeous Afros and shaved cuts. Just look at Alek Wek and Solange Knowles, don't tell me your weave is nicer what they've got naturally. Cancer doesn't discriminate, and black children need wigs just as much as anyone else! With bullies like you at every corner they should be able to get angel hair or a locks of love wig that shows off hair as close to the stuff that lost.
    Shame on you. Really, you have managed to make yourself sound like a mean, self loathing, bully.

  5. Uh....People. She was making a fucking joke. See it as that period. Coming from a black man. I did think a lot of what was said was racy lol.

  6. Do none of you people understand the meaning of "satirical"? This is a joke. They are joking. Don't get so butthurt.

  7. Sadly, some of y'all are just telling us to get over it when the statements are so demeaning. The things black men and women have heard every day. To you t may be a joke but other people really think this way and it stems from hate. Jokes are cool until they perpetuate what was already stereotyped and cause people harm.

  8. This is crazy!!! I have cut my hair VERY short twice and it grew back just fine. And while I was "bald headed" or had my buzz cut, I STILL attracted men (and yes black men too). I met my husband with short hair (buzz cut)! It doesn't take that much money to care for natural hair. This is about helping someone with cancer, not your pride. Research where to donate your type of hair as I am. I turn 50 this year and plan on cutting mine off AGAIN but donating it this time. We should be loving each other regardless of some dang hair! PLEASE!