Saturday, May 9, 2009

And the story goes...

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up.
If a guy punches you he likes you.
Never try to trim your own bangs
& that someday you will meet a wonderful guy 
And get your very own happy ending.
Every story we're told implores us to wait for it,
The third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love,
The exception to the rule.
But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending
That we don't learn how to read the signs.
How to see the ones who want us and those who don't,
The ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.
And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy
Maybe it's you picking up the pieces and starting over,
Freeing yourself up for something better in the future.
Maybe the happy ending is just moving on.
Or maybe the happy ending is this:
Knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts,
Through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain
And everything that went wrong, you never gave up hope." - He's Just Not That Into You

I thought this was a very nice quote. I never waited around for a Prince Charming to just pop up outta nowhere like a crazy man. I've never even planned what I wanted my wedding day to be like, picked out my "futur kids names", dreamt about my wedding dress, decorations, what my life would be like with my loving husbnd & family.
I guess I'm not the typical little girl. I didn't even pick my daughter's name! Her dad did...
All I know is that I've always been an introverted person who is desperately terrified to talk to strangers, never says her true feelings & keeps EVERYTHING inside, and I don't know why. 
Maybe that's why I've always pictured my future as being solitary & just... alone.
I don't  know who my happy ending will be with or when it will happen, all I know is that I have a baby sleepin' on the couch that needs my full attention.
I've never been a sucker for the whole "love" thing because I guess I don't really put my whole self into it? Perhaps?? Maybe? I guess I'm afriad that I may be hurt? I'm not good at expressing my self well, so that tributes to it also...
I can truely say I've never been heart broken; just upset, angered, and then I just end up not caring & drowning the thoughts with music...
One day, I'll get over this challenge of expressing myself & maybe, just maybe, be able to open up to someone if I can find the way how....
Until then, I have one true love & that's my little Fat-fat. :)

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