Eight months and one week ago, you were only 6 pounds 8 ounces. So small. So beautiful. So angelic. I can't believe that in 4 more months, you will be a year old. I am not sure if words can express the joy and happiness you have brought me. I know all of these journal entries I am writing are about how much I love you, and blah, blah, boring, but it is the only thing I feel when I look at you.
I can't believe something that caused me SO much pain could have brought me so much joy also. I thought I was going to die when I was having you. Literally. And I guess I better get this out also. You were almost a toilet baby. When I got to the hospital & went to the bathroom in immense pain to change into the gown, I decided to pee also. I just didn't know I was going to have a contraction while peeing & I naturally started to push... meaning you could have fallen out in the toilet. Hahaha! I just thought I'd let you know. So be thankful that I stopped myself. =]
It's been 4 months since Daddy and I have been split up. Since then, we haven't talked much. He'd just text for you to come over for a little. I'd drop you off and get you a couple hours later without saying anything to him. It wasn't pretty, but we are better now. We talk more now & I even stay sometimes while you and Daddy play. It's funny how much you look like him and even sleep like him. You both sleep like crazy fools. And Daddy has a new job. I'm very proud of him. You should too, if you knew what a job was...
You are crawling so well now! You're just growing up so fast now & not even slowing down for me. I want my little, stinky, do nothing baby back!! It's hard for me to realize that you are growing up so fast because I'm not home often. School has me all over the place and gone from 8am-4pm sometimes 7am-5pm or later. Then when I get home, I have so much homework to do that I haven't put you to sleep for at least 2 weeks now. It makes me sad because I barely have time to play with you, hug you, or even feed you. And if I do, I have to get right back to studying because its so hard for me to remember... anything now. I guess lack of sleep... On top of that, money is not Mommy's friend... But that's another story....
But one day, things will get better and I will be able to hold you all day... Until you become a teenager and think I'm just a lame mama.
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