Friday, June 26, 2009

"I'm gettin' old sonny."

My jebus, how time flies.

I just had a baby 5 months ago.

I'm turning 19 in 4 months. No. Closer to 3 months.

I'm heading back to school in 2 months.

*sigh* feels like yesterday I was still a sophmore in high school with not a care in the world.

Now I'm old. For the first time in my life, I am starting to get cellulite. It is horrifying me that I'm just letting myself go like this! Where is my motivation to work out?? Maybe because I'm still anemic from my pregnancy & I'm always exhausted.

Also, for the first time, I am terrified to put on a bikini. I kind of hate that I was in such good shape back then. Because of that, my stomach had NO WHERE to stretch; causing Mia to push & separate my ab muscles, & pull my skin tremendously. (Since I had NO LAYER OF FAT on my stomach what so ever) Ugh. Why did I have to be an over- acheiever & have to work so hard on my abs & now they're destroyed? Literally. I'm just not being able to pull myself to a sitting position with just my abdominal muscles. Its pretty sad...
I went from this in April 2008:
to this January 20, 2009 (the day before Mia came):
and I wont put what it looks like now. You'd probably gouge your eyes out. =/
It depresses me...

My back hurts occasionally.
I'd kill for a good massage. Yes, I said KILL... <__<
I think its from a dancing injury. I used to fall on the hard gym floor occasionally when doing turns & such. But who knows? But I'm glad its not like how it used to be. My back would hurt so much, I would limp around the house & it would be hard to get up. (Especially when I was a preggo)

But on the bright side, my acne went away! =D
God, I don't get acne, but when I was pregnant, you coulda called me Pizza Face Raven. For real. I was hideous & I'll admit it. I'm surprised my baby daddy stayed with me cuz my face was buggin! Gracias a Dios I didnt take any pics then.

Also, I have boobs. ;]
That's right. Boobs. Yes, Girls have the chesty area, but back in the day, I had NONE. Non-existent, gone, zip, nada, zero. (ask Adiam. She has proof) I had a vacant sign on my chest. My boobs were M.I.A. But thanks to Mia (what a coincidence), I went from an A to a B!! WOO-WOO! That's a big leap. Really. I went from where I couldn't pay to have cleavage to where I gotta put a leash on these puppies! They be tryna make an appearance when I'm not lookin!

My hair is a lot healthier. But I'm SO glad its not all oily anymore. Gosh. I was happy to have my dry, old black hair again because I used to have to wash my hair every 2-3 days or my hair would be so oily, I'd be bringin' back the Jerry Curl. And every black girl know how tedious black hair can be. If you don't know..........not my problem....... *in ghetto alter-ego tone* Buh Mia gah dat guuh hurr yo. All da guhs gon be ha-in' on hu hurr.
Translation: Mia's hair is considered nice & manageable and every african american girl will be jealous they do not have her type of hair.
For those who don't read ghetto.

I guess out of the bad things, good come out also. But nothing can make me feel better about my stomach. It's like the devil taunting me. I guess this is my punishment for being agnostic & not going to church... but I still believe in God! I just add in my 2 cents.... Maybe one day, I'll be able to strut my shit in a bikini again... Until then, I'll just wear a tank top or t-shirt to the pool like the chubby little boys with boobs......

oh damn. That was mean. That's why I have this problem.... *laughs on the inside*

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