Day 16: Someone that’s not in your state/country

Dear Callie,

You are in Jersey Shore, New Jersey; I'm Atlanta where the playa play & we ride on them thangs like everyday. Big beats, hit streets see gangstas roamin' & parties don't stop til 8 in the morning.

You're mean. Why you ask? Because you keep playing with my heart. You need to quit playing games with my heart. With my heart, with my heart. I should have known from the start....

Moving away & back and away & back and then here again! And back there again! And you know what?! I criiiiiiieeeed. And I don't care who knows it! I criiiiiieeeeedddd. And I ain't to proud to show it. I criiieeddd when you said GOOOODDD BYYYYYYEEE! WHEN YOU SAID GOOD BYE! I criiiieeeddd!

No... I did't cry. You didn't even say good bye!

And on top of that, how come you don't call me.... anymore?? I thought it was something wrong with my phone, so I called Mr. Telephone man and said "There's something wrong with my line. When I dial my Callie's number, I get a click every time!"

But it's ok. When I visit you, I'll get to say "Yeeeaaaah! Oh leh do-eh. Aye! Oh leh do-eh! Yeaaaah! Druh dilin' mus-eh. Aye. I influ-eh. Aye. I influ-eh." The you'll probably say, "So what do you wanna do here?" And I'll say "I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want! I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really, really, really wanna New York party!"

And when we get ready for da club, we can get pedicures on our toes, toes. Trying on all our clothes, clothes. Boys blowin up our phones, phones. Well... I'm not sure about boys blowing up our phones because you like ugly people and I intimidate males with my pretty girl swag. But at the club, I'm gonna be like, "Hey Mr. DJ keep playin' this song for me. Out on the floor in my arms, he's gotta be! And then you're gonna be like *hands in blades* "When you do the things you do, Come on & Work your body! Work you body!"

But anyway, I know we're gonna have a party in the USA and be livin' our life like its golden, golden in Neeewww Yooorrk! Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there nothing we can't do! And when I say Bye, bye, bye, I'm going to hide my makeup smeared eyes to show that I'm fine. Besides, you're coming to visit in January, so I won't be sleeping with a broken heart.

Love, Raven

P.S. Don't forget to E-mail my heart!

Day 15: The person you miss the most

Now that I have time again...

Dear Mia,

You left be again and went to Pennsylvania for 10 days. I should have been used to you being gone here and there since you were in California for a month this summer, but I don't think it ever gets easy. It was easier during the summer to not realize you weren't here. I kept myself busy EVERYDAY. Painting, going out to eat, mall, work, party, visited Thanh in South Carolina, etc. I didn't like being home really alone and I still don't. Since I was in school, I was kind of forced to stay home and endure the emptiness...

I guess its hard because during these years, I can miss out on so many little things you do that are HUGE to me, and seem stupid to others. Like you learning to wipe your own nose is gross and dumb to some people. To me, it shows me that you are growing up day by day.

I missed having you meet me every time I walk in through the door. I missed your kisses where you choke me a little and pull my face to yours. I missed our inside jokes.

I think the worse part of you being gone isn't that I'm not there to take care of you. I know Granny is taking good care of you even though you run her wild.

It's me sitting in silence. Me eating dinner alone. Me watching TV and doing homework without you saying "Mom! Mama! Hey! Help! Here! Baw! Bow!! Help! Diddle-diddle-liddle-dee!! Diddle-liddle-diddle-daaaa!" It gets lonely and Nacho can only do so much. I've spent the past nearly 3 years of my life so far talking to you, and always having you near me. From an embryo to a fetus to the little 21 month old you are now. And when you go away, I have nothing.

So I sat and imagined seeing you playing around in the living room, dancing to Yo Gabba Gabba, saying Chinese words you learned from Ni Hao Kai Lan, and fake laughing when I try to be funny. And when I saw you again (even though I was half awake) seeing you smile big made me so happy. I think the biggest fear I have whenever you leave is that you won't remember me, and when you show me you haven't makes me feel like I'm doing something right in this crazy, hectic world.

Koi hak jao, Mia.

With much love,

Mommy

Day 18: The person that you wish you could be

Dear Bruno Mars' Girlfriend,

I wish I could be you. Not the girl who supposedly used to be you lady. (Rumored Chanel Malvar) She looks like a man. Besides, I heard you guys broke up anyway which is good! You look more girly than she does. YUCK!

Well, I wish I was Bruno Mar's girlfriend. I would be nice. You can sing! I can dance. You look like a chihuahua. I love chihuahuas! Your 25. I'm 20. Perfect! Guys mature slower, so it's like you're 20 now! We both have birthdays in October. What more do I need to say?! We are perfect brown people together. =D

Well, when you see me at your concert, front row and center, you will love me. I will seduce you and you will say, "Where have you been all my life?!" And I will say, "Across the ocean, waiting for your face." Then you will sing "Marry You" to me and I will sing "Again" (not too great.... I can't sing). Then you will sing "Just the Way You Are," and I'll say "AWWW! Peter, you are too sweet!" Finally, and we will skip down the aisle singing "Count on Me". The our honeymoon will be "Somewhere in Brooklyn". We'll have a picnic under the stars and start "Talking to the Moon". And we'll spend our days together singing the "Lazy Song" in our beautiful home "On the Other Side". Ahhh....

That's all the songs I could think of that would fit in our relationship..... Future relationship. But I will wait for you to find me. Or me to find you. And hey! I have a good chance since you like girls who aren't all that hot looking! Chanel is not some eye candy, fo shizzle.

With love (and patience),

Raven Bowie Hernandez ;D

Day 17: Someone from your childhood

Dear Brittany Nix,

I don't know where you are right now, who you are, if you are still living. But you were my first friend. I remember our sleep overs, jumping around, singing Hanson songs as loud as we could fighting over who would get which brother. I'll also never forget that you taught me how to make doughnuts from Pillsbury biscuits. Who would have thought?! Going to lunch and making fun of teachers, laughing about things that would not have been funny now, but hey! That's childhood. After all, we were in kindergarten.

Well, I don't know what you're doing, what you've been doing, how you've been doing, but I hope your life has been great, fun filled and stress free! Who knows! We might see each other some time in the future in Thailand or something!

With love,

Raven

Day 14: Someone you’ve drifted away from

Dear Shey, Autumn, Cassy, Alex, Kelly, Alleya, Shannon, & Emily

It's been years since I've seen any of you. About 7 years to be exact. We've all grown up, college, boyfriends, husbands, babies, financial independence, the typical. You grow up. You grow apart.

I sometimes look back at the old elementary days of our "group". Sleep overs, birthday parties, gossip on the playground, fun times in class. The wonders of my childhood, and now you guys will always be in the stories I will tell to my daughter and grandchildren. (If I have any)

Yes, we have drifted away. It was bound to happen eventually, especially since I moved many states, miles, meters, yards, inches and centimeters away, and contact back then was VERY limited since it definitely was NOT the age of the social networks... And even though we don't talk at all or very limitedly now, I'm ok with it. You guys are still my "clique" in my memories and always will be.

With love,

Raven

Day 13: Someone you wish could forgive you

Um.....

Dear Person I wish could forgive me,

You don't exist.

Sincerely,

Raven

Day 12: The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Hate is a strong word. I try not to say I hate people because they may end up being my life saver. And, like I was telling my friends, to me, pain is physically felt to me. Not emotionally. So...

Dear Person who caused me a lot of discontent,

You have made me sad, melancholy, discontent, bitter, pessimistic, sorrowful, somber, upset, and pensive. (Those are all the words I can think of that relate to "sad".) I let it bother me for an extended amount of time, but then I thought, "Why am I letting this control my emotions?"

Its stupid for letting someone (or someones) control how you view your life.

With that being said, I no longer worry about the discontent I felt. Why you ask?

Well, I have better things in life to be happy about rather than sulk on a daily about you-know-who doing you-know-what at whatever-time-of-day to whatever-that-person's-name on something-irrelevant-to-me while laughing-and-being-immature. (I'm just saying phrases with hyphens. This is not a true story where I can fill in the italicized words)

I'm in college! I have money. I have a great daughter who makes me smile daily. I have a home to go to everyday. I am able to buy things with my own money. I have hair! I have nice nail genes. I have nice teeth genes. I'm very healthy. I know how to swim. I learned how to dive! I have heat in my home so I won't freeze. And running water. And food (too much food). I don't have cystic acne. I'm short! I'm smart. I learn quickly. I play the flute and clarinet. My body is proportional to my size (except my thighs).I have a great rice cooker. I can still dance, leap, gran jete, coupe, and fouette after not dancing for nearly 3 years. My closet is full of clothes that I never wear. I have cool green, leopard printed glasses (my 2 faves). And finally, I am alive.

See, many (living) people can not say that many positive things. So with all these happy things in my world, one person, or people couldn't have that much of an impact that I need to go on a full rant about my hatred for them. Besides, hatred causes more hatred in the world.

With that being said, the one or ones who have brought me discontent, gracias. Because now I know not to put up with people who bring me down.

Sincerely,

Raven