I feel as if every other one of these daily blogs are about you. Well, I guess it's because you're SO interesting. Yes, you are.
Well, you changed my life. I've become more responsible, more caring, more open to new things, more closed off to old things, more tolerant, more angry, more happy, and more tired.
I guess having you born has really made me question what I really wanted in life and how I wanted to live.
In high school, the biggest worry I had was if I was going to buy a new outfit and look cute at school, avoiding that guy in class, and what I was going to do that weekend. Everything seemed SO important back then that even the smallest obscurity that occurred would kill my soul.
Now, I worry about buying you diapers, stocking up on hair de-tangler, what you're going to eat for dinner because you don't like burritos, if you're not fitting your clothes, if I finished my homework, how am I going to potty train you?, did I do A-worthy homework?, managing my money, hoping you don't get sick because you rule the house when your sick, going to sleep early enough that I don't fall asleep driving, and how can I keep my sanity so you won't think I'm crazy?
Yeah... I laugh at myself when I see how stupid I was back then. Getting worked up over nothing. And to say some people my age still go crazy over what to wear and avoiding that guy in class. Then again, I guess that's a part of growing up. You're stupid for a long time until something big hits you. A birth. A death. A move. A failure. I'm glad it happened earlier for me before I was even more stupid than I was before...
But yeah. You changed my whole life around. I was going to go to UCLA. Maybe even Oxford University in England or Salamanca in Spain. But I chose to stay here which worked out because I didn't even know I was having you then. Now I actually have to plan my class schedule around you, my future plans around you, my whole life around you. And I enjoy it.
At least my life has purpose now. To make a stable, happy life for you to grow up in.
Love, Mommy
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